Have you ever had that bad feeling someone is blackmailing you? You know just a bad vibe that they are out to get you, trust your gut! You are being manipulated.
What’s worse, a skilled emotional manipulator can destroy your life literally from self-esteem to even making you question your sanity altogether.
If you are still in the dark wondering what I am blabbering about, Emotional manipulation is the act of one partner in a relationship trying to get the other partner to behave in a certain way that they want. In short, it’s their interests that count, not yours, so you can kiss your happiness goodbye.
They accomplish this by making their partner feel bad about themselves from messing with their authentic thoughts, feelings, and actions. The signs of emotional manipulation can be subtle to glaring open. They’re often hard to spot especially if you are dealing with a professional manipulator. Here are just a few signs that you are being emotionally manipulated:
They maintain ‘Home Advantage’
If your partner always insists on meeting in their realm then probably they are trying to create an imbalance of power. Think about where you live, where you hang out, where you go on dates, and whose friends you visit.
Play the victim and never take accountability
Emotional manipulators can make you apologize, even if they are the ones at fault. They never accept accountability for their actions.
This is when your partner attempts to twist reality so you second-guess yourself. This is a weird controlling tactic that has worked on you every time you thought the mistreatment was ‘all in your head’.
They keep comparing you to others
Manipulative people thrive on the idea that people are competing for them. If your partner keeps comparing you to others then they could be evoking feelings of ‘being incapable’ and competition.
Your partner must have suggested coming to help you out with some chores at some point. However, if they ended up acting like it’s a huge burden, dragging their feet and all, then they are simply trying to exploit your emotions to get out of it.
They always one-up you
The spotlight has to be on them. Well, at least that’s what they believe.
“I’m sorry your grandfather passed. I lost both of my grandparents in two weeks, so at least it’s not that bad” is a perfect example of how they make their problems appear worse or more pressing.
Emotional manipulators target your emotional weakness with dramatic statements like, ‘If you leave me, I don’t deserve to live.’ This puts you in a very very difficult spot.
They give you the silent treatment
No response to calls or messages. For crying out loud, you even sent an email! The silent treatment is meant to make you feel responsible for their behavior.
Never take ‘No’ for an answer
A declaration of love is never a requirement for the other person to respond in a similar manner. Think of it as giving someone a gift from a place of overflow without expecting anything in return. Expecting anything in return for the relationship to work is pure manipulation.
When things don’t go their way they become ‘sick’. You try to have a conversation and suddenly they faint. Since they’re sick ‘they are magically out of it’
Remember: Nobody can manipulate you without your consent and cooperation. Always trust your gut and watch out for these Nim Notty signs of emotional manipulation.