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Ever had ‘stand-up’ sex? 

Who knew sex could be this fun standing up. I mean I don’t know about you but fucking missionary as great as it does get boring with time. Sometimes you just want to fuck and get fucked without caring who’s watching you.  We all have our weird faces when we cum so let’s not go there.

Doggie doesn’t help either when you want to squeeze those big lemons until she screams as you bang and smack her fat ass so what do you do?

Have you ever thought of having sex while standing up? .Never had ‘stand-up’ sex is the reason why your sex life sucks.

Why you should fucking try out ‘stand-up’ sex

Having sex while on standing will make you go nuts. Not only does it let you play out your most passionate fantasies, but it can also be a good way to achieve deep penetration which is good for both of you.

Also Read: Sex workers in Uganda are fucking clients while standing up to stay afloat

Secondly, who has the time to go to the bedroom every time they want to fuck? C’mon don’t tell you haven’t fucked in the kitchen, sitting room, veranda, bathroom name it. Spontaneous sex is the best and ‘stand-up’ sex is fucking great. I mean after little ‘Jonnie’ has risen up from the dead it’s only fair you don’t keep him waiting until you get to the bloody bedroom. Give him his due there and then, don’t worry Brenda* will understand. 

Sure ‘stand-up sex’ is no child’s play and this position does require a bit more effort than other simple positions like the missionary position but fucking while standing will blow your mind. Soon you will realize it can be one of the most exciting and passionate positions ever and it might even change the way you look at sex altogether. 

See what you have been missing

This position is fantastic for hot passionate quickie sex. You know during one of those moments when the two of you can’t keep your hands off of each other and can’t wait until you get to the bedroom, this position offers a great deal of passion and spontaneity. 

What’s more, just like in the movies there’s lots of fantasy role-playing potential to be had using this position. For example, think of the bathroom scene in the movie Fatal Attraction, yeah yeah of course without the insanity and death, I’m sure you get the point so lets’ not get distracted. 

Also Read: Thinking of spicing things up? Here’s how to safely try BDSM

Say it’s Saturday so she’s doing some laundry and you are just bored in the sitting room flipping channels. You stand up to go for your fifth beer but on your way to the fridge you get a glimpse of her all bent with her fat ass up. What do you do? Smile and keep going? Fucking lame, don’t ever do that man. Forget the beer and go grab that ass and have ‘stand-up’ sex like a champ.

Alright with that out of the way; here are six styles you can nail while standing up

Wheelbarrow

You stand firmly and she stands on her hands while her legs are rested on your thighs. You are between her legs holding her waist for support and then you fuck her until cows cum home.

The Bodyguard

What do you do when you see a pussy in sight? You fucking guard your cock. The same is true here in this purrfect position. You guard her pussy and own it erotically like a boss. You stand straight against the wall facing opposite to it and she joins you facing opposite. You then approach her with….what boys? Your fucking big cock and give her maximum protection and penetration until she smiles from ear to ear. 

Upside Down

This will make you feel like a really big boy and you know nothing can beat that feeling so might want to make it memorable and looooong. To pull this off, bend your knees a little so that she is in a handstand position. Then hold her by her waist and pelvic area and set her pussy on fire with your rock-hard cock. She will never look at you the same again.

Elephant

Did you know when a male approaches, a female in estrus (also spelled Oestrus, the period in the sexual cycle of female mammals) may at first show wariness, but if she is interested, she will then leave the family group, walking with her head up and turned sideways to watch the male as he follows behind. Fucking crazy right, just like humans.

Elephant sex lasts for up to two minutes and afterward, he will stay near the female and guard her from other males. So, the next time you fuck Betty don’t be too quick to get off, cuddle her a little and even play with her titties, I mean if elephants can do it who are you?

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Anyway, sorry my fucking mind keeps wandering where was I again. Yes! The elephant position allows you to feel her pussy’s warmth and boobies sensation at the same time, what can beat that?

To execute this position, stand straight and let her be in an entanglement position….Oops not like Jada Pinkett and August. By making proper eye contact….again not like fucking bored and hurt like Will Smith…you start penetrating her through her vajayjay.

The Swing

Oh yeah..oh yeah babe…go deep! deeper! deeeeeeeper! You too have just heard it, right? Alright fuck her ‘the swing’ way and I guarantee you you will not hear the end of it.

Stand and bend your knees a little and let her wrap her legs around your waist and arch back while holding your hands for support. Now start the thrusts and go straight into her drippin wet pussy and fuck the living daylights out of her.

Spiderman

Did you know female redback spiders can store sperm for up to two years and use it to lay several batches of eggs? To avoid becoming a post-sex snack male redback spiders have developed a survival tactic: mating only with females too young to eat them. That right there is a genius if you ask me.

Anyway, you don’t have to worry about losing your head in this position. To pull off spiderman let her legs be bent like Spiderman or should I rather say, Spiderwoman. All you need to do after this is to adjust between her legs and start making rhythmic motions. And yes James you can fuck her with your spiderman’s suit so shut the fuck up….just make sure you can breathe first, man.

Also Read: How to tell if she has a fake butt

Video

Watch this video to learn about 6 sex positions while standing up you need to try out today.

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