Not all heroes wear caps! Meet sex surrogates giving injured soldiers hope to live through sex
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Welcome to Dr. Ronit Aloni Clinic
On a leafy residential street in central Tel Aviv, there is a small little clinic that offers life changing therapy and ‘it takes two to tango’ is its backbone or mantra. The clinic is the brainchild of Dr. Ronit Aloni, a sex therapist with a distance-learning doctorate in sexual rehabilitation. The small little known clinic is giving injured soldiers another chance to orgasm and feel like themselves again.
The consultation room of Dr. Aloni Clinic does not look like your typical hospital. There are two small rooms called “the red room” and “the green room.” In the green room there is a small comfy couch for her clients and biological diagrams of male and female genitalia, which she uses for explanation. It’s the red room that is better furnished and where real action takes place. There’s a bed, an adjoining shower – and erotic artwork adorns the walls. Candles and a CD player are available to set the mood.
Some of Dr. Aloni’s patients and clients include Israel’s Defense Ministry and civil courts and injured soldiers daily come here to learn how to have intimate relationships and ultimately, how to have sex.
Typical day at Dr. Ronit Aloni Clinic
Once a week, patients meet with a surrogate, a “regular person” who is trained at the clinic, and separately with a sex therapist, who oversees the treatment. The treatment typically lasts three to four months, though it can stretch for years.
Aloni has employed some 30 sex therapists, physiotherapists, social workers and doctors along with a dozen or so surrogates. Patients and surrogates must be tested for sexually transmitted diseases and use contraceptives.
The costs of sexual therapy including sexual surrogacy is up to $2,000 a month and the Israel government covers the cost for soldiers with injuries that affect their ability to have sex.
“Also, 85% of the sessions are [about] intimacy, touching, giving and receiving, communicating – it’s about learning to be a person and how you relate to other people. By the time you have a sexual relationship, that’s the end of the process.” Dr. Ronit Aloni explains.
Why sexual surrogacy makes sense
Sexual surrogacy is a therapeutic practice designed to help a person become more comfortable with sex, their body, and/or the emotional and physical skills they need for intimacy.
The biggest myth surrounding sexual surrogacy is that it is a form of prostitution. But there are important differences. Sex workers focus only on giving sexual gratification to a client. But a surrogate partner’s goal isn’t around sexual satisfaction or stimulation — they aim to help a person overcome troubles they have around sex and intimacy, whether they are physical, social, or emotional. They may focus on areas like relaxation, communication, and social skills training. In some cases, surrogate partners never have physical contact with their client.
“People are coming for therapy. They’re not coming for pleasure. There is nothing similar to prostitution,” Aloni told BBC.
How to fuck a fat girl and make her cum
Many of Aloni clients are disabled patients struggling to have a romantic relationship because of intimacy issues or anxiety, or have suffered sexual abuse. Others have physical and mental health conditions.
Studies show that surrogacy is more effective than classic psychological therapy at treating sexual problems.
How Dr. Aloni set up the clinic
While studying in New York, Dr. Aloni was introduced to the world of sexual surrogacy after being close to a surrogate who worked with disabled people.
When she went back to Israel in the late 1980s, she gained the approval of leading rabbis to start a clinic that used sexual surrogates and started providing therapy at a rehabilitation centre on a religious kibbutz – a rural community. There was a catch though – no married men or married women can work as surrogates in her clinic.
Since then about 1,000 people have come to her clinic for surrogate sex therapy.
Meet John* who swears by sexual surrogacy
John is a former reserve soldier whose life was shattered in the 2006 Lebanon War. Today, he can only communicate with the help of his occupational therapist – if she supports his arm and holds a pen in his hand, he can write on a whiteboard.
“I was just an ordinary person. I’d just got back from a trip to the Far East. I was studying in university and worked as a barman. I used to love sports and being with friends,” David says.
When his military unit came under attack, he suffered serious leg and head injuries and went on to spend three years in hospital. During that time, he says he lost the will to live.
Things only began to turn around after his occupational therapists suggested surrogate sex therapy.
“When I started the surrogate therapy, I felt like a loser, like nothing. In therapy. I started feeling like a man, young and handsome,” John says.
Enter Seraphina – Sexy sexual surrogate helping John
John’s sex surrogate is a woman who uses the alias Seraphina. She is slim with bobbed hair and is warm and articulate. Seraphina describes herself as “like a tour guide”, saying she takes clients on a journey in which she knows the way. She has worked with about 40 clients, including another soldier, but says that the severity of David’s injuries posed a unique challenge. She learned how to help him to write so that they could chat privately.
“It was the first time that I felt that since my injury. It gave me strength and it gave me hope.”
Seraphina explains that saying goodbye to clients after they have been intimate is necessary but can be difficult.
“I say, it’s like going to a vacation. We have an opportunity to have a wonderful relationship for a certain short time and do we take it or give it up?
“And it’s the happiest break-up anybody can have. It’s for good reasons. I can cry sometimes, but at the same time, I’m so happy.
“When I hear that anybody is in a relationship or had a baby or got married, it’s unimaginable how happy and thrilled and thankful I am for what I do.”
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