Every relationship has ups and downs. The early stages of a relationship are marked by intense emotions and passion that gradually temper as time goes. As your relationship becomes more comfortable you may begin to feel that the relationship is getting worn or a bit boring. You may start asking yourself why you are getting bored in the relationship.

Your relationship may be free from conflict but you are likely to feel unsatisfied or uninspired. You can choose to inject some excitement into the relationship or decide to move on and start afresh.

The article discusses some of the signs that you are bored in your relationship and where the shine in your relationship starts to wear off. It also states the steps you can take to fix boredom in your relationship and understand when it is time to quit the relationship and start afresh.

Reasons Why You are Bored In Your Relationship

The early days of your relationship with your partner were likely filled with feelings of excitement and an intense urge to spend time with one another. However, the intensity of those initial feelings often wanes over time. Instead of powerful passion, your relationship develops an increased sense of closeness, trust, and intimacy.

The early days of your relationship with your romantic partner were filled with feelings of excitement and an urge to spend lots of time together. This intensity however wanes over time.

When your relationship moves from experiencing intense passion to developing increased intimacy, trust and closeness this is a sign that it’s moving from passionate love (that is more fleeting) to compassionate love (that is more enduring)

Passionate and Compassionate Love

Passionate love is characterized by feelings of excitement. It’s the type of love that makes you want to be with your romantic partner as much as possible. At this time you are getting to understand your partner and everything about your partner is new and exciting. At this point you are able to idealize your partner as you are able to overlook your partner’s shortcomings.

Compassionate love on the other hand is more intimate and profound as it’s marked by trust affection and commitment. People who have arrived at this stage of their relationship understand and support each other deeply.

This doesn’t mean that long-term relationships should be boring and lack passion. The best relationships strike a balance between passionate and compassionate love.

You Don’t Have Similar Interests

A relationship can grow weary and boring if you and your partner lack basic compatibility. If you lack a common ground with your partner you may find it difficult to keep connected to each other.

You Lack Meaningful Conversations

Communication is vital to a healthy relationship. You may start to drift apart from your partner if you lack serious talks about your interests, feelings and opinions.

You Have Given Up On Your Goals to Remain in the Relationship

If you have abandoned your own interests or dreams in favor of someone else’s it is just a matter of time before you turn out to be weary and suppress your own wants and needs.

You Lack Interests and Hobbies

You should focus on your hobbies outside of the relationship. Doing this will excite you and will give you something to share and discuss with your romantic partner.

You avoid Putting Effort In The Relationship

Keeping the spark alive in your relationship entails showing one another interest, affection and ignoring feelings as well as neglecting each other’s needs which is bound to contribute to feelings of boredom.

You Avoid Combatting Boredom

When feelings of boredom start creeping into your relationship it’s crucial for you to take steps towards adding excitement back into your relationship. This involves finding new and exciting things to do together and also making changes in the relationship to address the underlying feelings of discontent.

Solutions You Can Implement In Your Relationship

Change Your Way of Thinking

Research suggests that cognitive reappraisal, may change the way you think about love and how your perceive relationships. This process pertains interpreting solutions in multiple ways to change how you feel about them. This strategy enables you to focus on your partner’s positive qualities and determine how  these characteristics contribute to your romantic relationship.

Go on Dates Together

If both of you have fallen into a rut it may take time to take things back to some basics and activities you enjoyed doing when you started dating. Dating each other once a week is a great way to reconnect and talk. Focus on those intimate feelings you had at the onset of the relationship and think of your partner with a sense of ecstasy and excitement.

You might make it more exciting by giving one another surprises. Purchase tickets for you to see your partner’s favorite game or go on a spontaneous adventure. The most important thing to do is focus on your relationship without other distractions.

Change Your Boring Routines

Feeling bored in your relationship can be a reflection of boredom. If you want to change this boredom, you should try shaking up your everyday routines. If you are used to eating at a certain restaurant, consider a new spot as a couple. Find a new hobby that you can both try together or look for ways to spice things up between the sheets.

Research shows that shared activities are an effective way to deal with boredom in the relationship. A 2013 study suggested that couples who tried a four-week online intervention to increase excitement reported feeling relationship satisfaction and elation four months later.

Go For Counselling

In some situations, you may find it helpful to seek advice from your therapist about your relationship problems. This can be true if your feelings of boredom connect to a deeper issue like lack of communication.

Relationship counselling is a great way to improving your connection to your romantic partner. According to a recent study, people who had couples therapy reported communication improvements and relationship satisfaction with better intimacy. If you have lost interest in your relationship, it is crucial to realize that it’s a sign of something more.

Loss of interest, alias anhedonia, is a symptom of depression and other mental issues like bipolar disorder, stress and anxiety. Talk to a healthcare professional if your feelings are more than regular boredom

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Is The Relationship Worth Saving

Just because the initial excitement of your relationships dwindles it doesn’t mean that the love lessens. When it comes to relationships, you may be motivated to reduce boredom in multiple ways.

Firstly, you may choose to invest in the relationship and establish ways both you and your partner are able to connect.

Some people may feel that the situation is hopeless and choose to live with the boredom and this may contribute to dissatisfaction and sadness.

Finally, some people may resolve the problem by ending the relationship and pursuing exciting and pleasing alternatives.

If you decide that the relationship is worth saving it is important to cope by taking the first option invest in your relationship i ways that will make you happier and also improve your relationship. Suffering in silence in your relationship may lead to feelings of dissatisfaction that may affect your relationship negatively more in the long run.

If you decide that the relationship is not worth saving, you may find that it’s better to break things off and start looking for other relationships that are best suited to your needs or your life. Calling it quits once you recognize that the relationship doesn’t suit you is often the best choice.

Recap

It’s normal for relationships to get boring from time to time. Sometimes it is a sign that you need to take steps to revive your relationship or a sign of something more serious.

Remember that relationships aren’t always effortless. It takes work to keep the relationship spark alive. There’s no simple solution that is right for every couple. If you are both willing to commit the effort and time you can work together towards getting your relationship back on track.