Keeping up with your ex

Dynamics of Keeping in Touch With Your Ex and Kids

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Dear! You Are Not Off The Hook Yet, We Still Got Unfinished Business

There is a one time partner who qualifies to be an ex and there are those who only pass for encounters. Like in a movie, there are main actors, the starring, and the extras. So who qualifies to be an ex? An ex is a person with whom you share much deeper soul ties beyond coitus, especially where there is a clearly defined and pronounced time factor. A past relationship where emotional and time investments cannot be easily snuffed out from one’s memory. An ex is a person, for instance, whom the community around can easily make out when counting the number of relationships one has been involved in. Exes are, therefore, long time lovers that you could share baggage with, i.e. a child, a disease, or anything that arises out of a deeper bond.
Also Read: What is emotional immaturity and how to work around an emotionally immature girlfriend or boyfriend
You call someone an ex-lover because you virtually moved on and are already in a committed relationship. Not everyone in a relationship has an ex-lover, some people bumped into partners from mars, while the majority have gone through a pick and drop experience. Not having an ex doesn’t render your relationship incomplete. Keep on with your first, one and only lover ever.  Well, for those whose dating journeys have led them to have many more body counts than morgues, it is time to critically look at the dynamics of keeping in touch with your ex-partner and kids. 

What Makes You Keep In Touch With Your Ex?

Ex Lover


There is definitely something which can make you keep in touch with your ex-lover. Apart from children, there are also traces of emotional attachment which are still lingering. There are scenarios where there is virtually no legal baggage between two ex-lovers, yet they still keep in touch. Legal baggage is something like children where you are obligated by law to co-parent. This necessitates keeping in touch. One of the most common scenarios is where the two lovers halt their relationship without an iota of bad blood between them. How possible it is to be in touch with a past lover without having feelings for them is something to write home about. It is very intriguing that you two keep in touch without the risk of falling over heels with each other again.

My Ex? We Are Neither Friends Nor Enemies. We Are Just Strangers With Some Memories

Some one time lovers claim to have mutually agreed to part ways due to what they termed incompatibility and struck a deal to continue being good friends. This is possible though rare. However, the dynamics which come with talking to one’s ex while in a committed romantic affair, is what today’s article is about.

Dynamics Of Talking To One’s Ex-Lover While In A Serious Relationship

One of the dynamics is fear from your current lover. Dispelling this worry is an uphill task. Your current lover is very much wary of a talk between you and someone you had a relationship with in the past. This is not just one of those random erotic encounters, but someone whose name is definitely going to be registered in the annals of your romantic history. They know the correct buttons to press and either light up your mood or mar the situation. For a scenario where your ex has kids, keeping in touch may take more than just talking on the phone. There are times when you are required to meet physically during children’s visitation. The greeting, hugging, and up-close talks cannot be ignored by the current tenant of your heart. If you ignore your current partner’s feelings, you are likely to create suspicion. As the saying goes, “Suspicion is the bane of friendship.”  Maya Angelou once said, “Jealousy in romance is like salt food. A little can enhance the savour, but too much can spoil the flavour.”

Your ex can in real terms arrest your attention through kids. Kids are such a powerful bond that requires a sufficiently principled person not to fall into the trap. How do you disentangle from this chain, which keeps on growing as much as kids do? Your ex can actually accuse you of neglecting children simply because you only deal with what concerns children and not them. It means your ex will appreciate your co-parenting because they also benefit through an emotional fulfilment when you turn up or talk to kids through them.

Keeping in touch with your ex-lover because you have children together can derail you, both psychologically and financially. Most baby mamas to be specific are sort of jealous of your financial growth and psychological stability. They tend to present bloated demands ensuring that you don’t sit comfortably in your current household and streamline your finances. Such an experience with your ex baby mama, breeds discomfort, uncertainty, and insecurity.

Yet this is just the tip of the iceberg. Much worse is when your current loyal partner cannot much the sexual prowess of your ex-lover. The slightest catch-up opportunity can rekindle the past. Imagine a scenario where the ex-lover was your childhood friend. The bond that exists between you two is so great that it can even break your current relationship. Their presence kind of derails you from moving on- and you could find yourself in a catch 22 situation. By the way, your ex-lover could also be in a serious committed relationship, which makes it a love triangle. If you are not careful, you can actually lose both or get killed by the ex’s current lover.

It is very difficult to drop off the baby mama or baby daddy baggage even if you moved to a far off place. The only thing that can end this is the death of either of you. Perhaps this is the real meaning of till death do us part. The only person who is safe from the shenanigans of an ex-lover with whom they have a child is one whose child’s pregnancy was a result of serial one night stands. No one remembers the other, because there were one too many men that night.

Also Read 5 Sex Topics You and Your Partner Must Discuss For the Best Intimate Experience





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