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How to ask for anal sex without sounding like a dick

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Smart ass – How to ask for anal sex 

Women like to be surprised. By no means do I mean that you should just shove it in her butt! Anal sex is for everyone; man, woman, gay, bisexual, or straight. Asking for anal sex, however, is a tricky subject for most. 

For many people, penetrative anal sex is a pleasurable part of their sex life but could end up being painful or uncomfortable if rushed, especially if it’s the first time. 

What is Anal Sex? 

Most people think of it as when a man inserts his penis into his partner’s anus, but it also includes some finger-fucking, using toys as well as licking the anus, common as rimming. The anus has loads of sensitive nerve endings. Prostate orgasms are intense enough to send waves of orgasmic pleasure from head to toe. Sex toys such as full-sized dildos and strap-ons are pleasurable to anyone, whether on the giving or receiving end. 

Also Read: Anal Sex Popularity: 7 countries where almost everyone is going anal

African History of Anal Sex 

Same-sex relationships in Africa were far more complex than what the “un-African” myth would have us believe. For example, the Ndebele and Shona in Zimbabwe, the Azande in Sudan and Congo, the Nupe in Nigeria, and the Tutsi in Rwanda and Burundi all engaged in same-sex acts for spiritual reinforcement i.e., as a source of fresh power for their territories. It was also used for ritual purposes. Among various communities in South Africa, sex education among adolescent peers allowed them to experiment through acts such as “thigh sex” (“hlobonga” among the Zulu, “ukumetsha” among the Xhosa and “gangisa” among the Shangaan).

Ancient cave paintings of the San people near Guruve in Zimbabwe illustrate two men in some form of ritual sex. During pre-colonial times, the “mudoko dako”, or unmanly males among the Langi of northern Uganda were treated as women and could marry men. In Buganda, one of the largest traditional kingdoms in Uganda, it was an open secret that Kabaka (king) Mwanga II, who ruled in the latter half of the 19th century, was gay.

Why your woman would ask for anal sex? 

  • Desire to avoid vaginal sex. In some cultures, this is actually a norm. She could be preserving the coochie for the lucky husband. 
  • To please you. This could be because she probably wants to steam up your sex life. 
  • Women’s own desire for anal sex. We are all curious. Do not scold her for suggesting this even though it could be out of the norm 
  • Money or drugs in exchange for anal sex 
  • Influence of drugs or alcohol

How to ask for anal sex Indirectly

As much as women love surprises, do not just say, “let’s have anal sex tonight, please baby”. Instead, make her want you to go up the Cadbury’s. It’s not as simple as snapping your fingers, but it can be done. 

Make a move. Compliment her ass, grab her attention and express how you need and want to poke her rear. Do this by gently teasing your partner’s anus with your dick. 

Create a sense of desire. Do the things that once turned them on in the first place. Kiss them on the neck, send that risky naughty text giving a hint that you want some raw doggin’ in the fart box. Jokes, light-hearted playful humor, and a willingness to ‘analize’ your encounter are required.   

Also Read: 5 signs she is in the mood for sex

How to ask for anal sex directly 

Say, “Let’s have some anal sex”. I know, not what I just stated above, and, not as simple as it sounds. Here’s the catch, this can only be possible if you are in a good relationship with someone who likes anal sex but does not initiate it or necessarily think about it. 

Note the timing! Asking your partner if they would like to have anal sex while talking about benign things could make them choke on their wine. Set the mood then ask. 

If you have a sex date with a transsexual or ‘tranny’, do not ask ‘How big is it?’. This is a turn-off as it makes them feel objectified. 

Caution 

Stay in Control- avoid excessive alcohol or drug consumption as they can stop you from feeling pain, or make you take risks you wouldn’t normally take. 

Use Protection- stay safe and prevent contracting STIs. Use either a male condom or a female condom. 

Use a love lube- unlike the coochie, the anus does not produce its own lubrication. It is important to use a good lube to make it more comfortable and to prevent damage. 

Clean gently- some people clean the anus before sex. Use water or mild soap and be very gentle not to bruise your anus. 

Continual Communication- this is the best way to ensure that you both enjoy the experience.

“Just because you have started something doesn’t mean you need to continue”- Nim Notty

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