Why You Can’t Connect With Your Partner During Sex ,According To Experts

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Reasons Why People Get Stuck In Their Heads During Sex

Although sex can be a crucial element in building stronger romantic connections, establishing that connection can sometimes prove to be challenging.

 

According to Jenn Mann, the author of “The Relationship Fix,” Individuals often struggle with getting lost in their thoughts during intimacy, allowing their insecurities to hinder their ability to be fully present in the moment. There are primary reasons why it can happen:

1. You Are Shy To Ask for What You Want In Bed

According to Mann, if you’re too shy to express your sexual desires, you may not have a fulfilling sexual experience. When you’re preoccupied with how to convey your desires, or concerned about appearing too demanding or hurting your partner’s ego, it can be challenging to immerse yourself in the moment.

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Instead, it’s essential to improve your communication skills so that both you and your partner feel comfortable expressing your needs. This should occur outside of the bedroom when you’re not in the heat of the moment. By doing so, you create an environment where you’re both open and receptive to meeting each other’s needs, leading to more satisfying sexual experiences.

2. You Have Been Through Relationship Trauma

According to Mann, if you have undergone sexual trauma such as rape, molestation, sexual harassment, or incest, it can significantly impact your sexual experiences. To address these issues, seeking support from a trauma hotline or reading books about the topic can be a useful starting point. However, to fully overcome these challenges, therapy is necessary.

3. Trouble Transitioning Your Day

In our lives, we often find ourselves in various roles that change throughout the day. For instance, you may be a career-driven woman at work, a caring mother at home, and a loving wife in the bedroom. However, according to Mann, the energy and mindset needed to experience pleasure in each of these roles are entirely different. Therefore, most women require some transition time to fully switch between these roles.

Mann suggests that certain rituals can assist in easing you into a more relaxed and sensual state, such as taking a warm bath, lighting candles, and anything else that can help you get into a more sexual state of mind.

4. Performance Anxiety

Both men and women can experience performance anxiety, which can manifest in different ways. Men may feel pressure to last longer and worry about their partner’s enjoyment, while women may struggle to achieve orgasm. Additionally, people may compare themselves to past lovers or feel insecure about their physical appearance.

According to Mann, self-criticism and worry are major mood killers during sex. She advises having an open conversation with your partner about your fears and anxieties. If your partner is unable to provide comfort, a sex therapist can help you identify the root of your insecurities and work on resolving them. Mann also notes that worrying about your body image can detract from sexual desire, and suggests rituals like taking a bath or lighting candles to help ease into a more sensual mindset.

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