Reading Time: 5 minutes

For Some People, Conventional Sex Ain’t Fascinating But Taboo Is

They say sex is like food, the wider the variety of menus, the less boring it becomes. The mantra is, “Normal Is Boring”. These people explore beyond the confines of the usual sex in order to have a limitless fantasy aura.

Controversy and Ironic Judgement of Sexual Kinkiness or Fetishism

Typically, sex is a consensual act, barring involuntary cases such as rape. Therefore being judgy about people’s choice of sexual style is what is really ironic. The truth of the matter is what you consider to be conventional around you, could be taboo elsewhere. There is no scientific consensus for any precise border between unusual sexual interests and paraphilic ones. For instance, a committed and sworn celibate might consider anything to do with sex very taboo. 

Sexual topics in society attract lots of controversy surrounding the freedom of expression and choice. It doesn’t really count how subversive and uncomfortable the ‘pro-conventional sex’ think this is, so long as both partners find it fulfilling, life is sweet.

The Origin of Kinks and Fetishes 

According to sex mythology, kinks and fetishes go as far back as two thousand years. There exists, indeed, historical traces and materials to back such assertions. One such example is the Khajuraho temple in India, where sculptures representing human figures in different sex positions portray plenty of kinks and fetishes. Perhaps, we can authoritatively say that Indians are some of the originators of sexual kinks and fetishes as shown in the much-acclaimed Kamasutra book.

Other kinksters were the Greeks. The Greeks had a way of integrating sex into their lifestyle, which involved kinkiness and fetishism. One particular trace of Greek sexual kinkiness is that of Bigas, which depicts people having coitus in front of an audience. Isn’t this, modern-day sexual voyeurism? This act was majorly carried out among a Greek community known as the Etruscans. 

The Greeks also involved pretty much sex in their worship and spirituality. The goddess of sexual love and fertility was known as Aphrodite while that of pleasure was known as Hedone. Aristotle, one of Greece’s foremost philosophers, also had time to talk about the ability of either partner in an erotic encounter to invent sexual patterns which could invoke optimum pleasure.

Closer home, we find Ugandan and Rwandese sexual kinks which continue to catch the attention of modern sexologists across the sphere. In these two communities, there is no complete sexual fantasy without performing kunyaza and enfuli.

Sexual Kinkiness and The Exotic Sexual Ecstasy

According to Wikipedia, kinkiness is the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts, and/or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a “bend” in one’s sexual behavior, to contrast such behavior with “straight” or “vanilla” sexual mores and proclivities. Another source, Glamour.com, defines kinky sex as all sex that falls outside of the boundaries of “vanilla” or traditional sex.

Sexual kinks and fetishes are also known as paraphilias. Paraphilia is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals. In addition, the famous sexologist  John Money defines kinkiness as a sexuoerotic embellishment of, or alternative to the official, ideological norm.

While connected to sexual practices, kink isn’t only limited to finding erotic pleasure, it can be a way of life and a connection to a community. Some kinks have entire cultures of their own. 

The human body and mind always like experiencing a new phenomenon, which inspires adventure and supraliminal stimuli. It is a free world, and everyone is coming up with their own ways of getting pleasure. Some get pleasure through pain, others through unfamiliar positions,  unusual body organs, and routines. So what a conventional thinker would undoubtedly frown upon, is what excites and attracts people on the opposite side of the spectrum.

Example of Kinks and Fetishes

1. Dominance

This type of kink is about consensual power exchange. The assumed dominant partner derives sexual pleasure by taking control of every coital act and subjecting the assumed weak partner to submission. For instance, the female partner may play the role of the dominant member and instead of positioning herself for sex, the male partner assumes the role where he lies down. Riding is one such example where a female assumes the top position.

2. Bondage

 

Bondage involves consensually tying up one partner with straps, handcuffs, facial blinders, or ropes before engaging in sexual activities. A partner may be tied to a bed, a tree, a couch, etc. Partners may agree to have one dominant partner or both partners can play either role. The partner who plays both dominant and submissive roles is normally referred to as a switch.

3. Gagging

It is also referred to as choking. One such example is when the penis is inserted deep down the throat of the other partner during fellatio thus causing a choking effect.

4. Foot Fetishism

This fetishism is known by other names like foot partialism or podophilia. It is a pronounced sexual interest in feet including toes, nails, and even to some extent its accessories such as socks, shoes, etc. There are people who get aroused by the shape, appearance, or even the mere imagination of the feet of the person they are coitally interested in. For example, some women prefer being toe-fucked instead of being finger-fucked. This act is called feeting.

5. Bromidrophilia

Some individuals like smelling the scent of their partner’s clothes or the bodily odor just to get aroused before sex. They sniff underpants, skin, etc.

6. Pregnancy Fetishism

Some are attracted to the rotund pregnant belly regardless of whose body or baby it is. There are men who are ready to pay a fortune to smack a pregnant woman.

7. Urophilia

In urophilia, a person is aroused by the act of being urinated on. It is also known as the golden shower, where the urophiliac individual is showered with urine. The person cherishes being treated like a urinal. Well so long as it makes them aroused, it is okay. Even bees spend time licking urine to make the best honey.

8. Exhibitionism 

It is also known as voyeurism. People who engage in this fetish enjoy sex more when they are being watched have sex or when they watch others do it. Even the habit of watching pornography so as to get aroused before having sex is to some extent a type of voyeurism.

9. Impact Play

Spanking is one form of impact play. Ladies mostly get aroused by being slapped on their butts either when they are riding or when they are positioned for a doggy style.

10.  Enfuli

Enfuli involves pulling the labia of a woman’s vagina outward. Some women especially in Uganda like getting aroused through this act. 

 

1261