WRC Safari Rally Kenya 2022

Vasha Chronicles! Here’s why Naivasha is on everyone’s lips

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What’s the fuss about Naivasha? The WRC Safari Rally Kenya 2022 is here and it’s got Kenyans in a frenzy!

Fun-thirsty Kenyans will be back at it again! Just like last year, the WRC Safari Rally Kenya 2022 event will be in Naivasha from 23-26 June. Kenyans are party animals, and will definitely flood Vasha. You can tell from all the buzz on social media that despite partying every weekend, Subaru Boyz are keeping their mechanics close since Vasha and Subarus are inseparable.

Experienced drivers will be out there with your girlfriends, handling them curves, and instead of pulling up, they will be pulling out. Stay strong kings, I’m sorry for bursting your bubble but you must already be getting them lame-ass ‘I’ll be visiting my parents this weekend’ excuses. Apart from going on her favorite side hustle- the Exotic GFE, your girl will definitely enjoy stunning picture-postcard scenery and exotic wildlife. 

As is the norm, obscene sexual scenes are expected to reign supreme. The events lined up in and around Vasha, this weekend, are numerous and so diverse. You could start at the Park and Camp Elementaita Amapiano event with Eric Omondi as MC. On Saturday, no hangover should keep you from experiencing the NRG TurnUp Vashaa featuring Kenyan greats- Wakadinali, Sauti Sol, Mejja, Chris Kaiga, Ssaru, DJ Exclusive, and Mwalimu Rachel. 

 

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Hangovers suck but brace yourself for one of the worst this coming Monday. My prediction- wake up feeling like you are being born again. Your head throbs, like being squeezed and pushed out, fists trembling, throat grunting and wailing in protest of the light, screaming for the comfort of warm, dark silence. The good thing, from all this, is the flashbacks from all the fun you had, the drunk texts you sent, and the realization that you have a whole boyfriend or girlfriend back home. 

Also Read: Why making love with a tipsy woman is the best coital for a sexually thirsty man

Beware: ‘Mchele Divas’ on the loose 

Okay, there’s always a downside; the infamous ‘Mchele Divas’ are on the prowl in Naivasha. Earlier this month, a Narok-based farmer lost Ksh. 800,000 after an encounter with ‘mchele divas’ who spiked his drink. After selling his wheat, the horny bastard decided to go splash some cash on some street hookers. Well, that’s what you get for not choosing the safest option- Exotic Escorts in Naivasha!  Would have saved him lots of cash, and his car, and he would have definitely banged a hottie. 

Hard Truths by Nim Notty

To be fair, let’s debunk the myth that all the beautiful ladies out there in Vasha will be ‘sponsored’ by the Subaru Boys. Some women are car enthusiasts and will be driving themselves, buying their own drinks, and dictating their fun. 

Fun Fact 

Kenya’s Shekhar Mehta tops the Safari’s WRC roll of honor with five wins.

Also Read: 6 reasons why you haven’t yet fucked that Premium Escort on your Wishlist

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