Understanding Abrosexuality- How to Tell If You Are Sexually Fluid 1
Dating & Marriage

Understanding Abrosexuality- How to Tell If You Are Sexually Fluid

Rish K
Reading Time: 6 minutes
Abrosexual is a term used to refer to a kind of sexual fluidity in terms of who you’re attracted to and also how much you’re attracted to then. For instance you could be attracted to women one day then days later you are attracted to men and women but not have interest in sex then experience no sexual attraction several days later before being attracted to men.
In short, abrosexual people may change who they are attracted to  monthly, yearly or after every few years but generally their sexual attraction shifts over time.

Abrosexuality is a lesser-known sexual identity and there’s minimal understanding about it.  Ryan Sultan, a board-certified mental health physician, director of Integrative Psych shares, “Essentially, abrosexuals experience shifting attractions towards different genders at various times.”

How Do I Know If I’m Abrosexual?

According to Adam Baldowski, PhD, “Something that abrosexuals experience is questioning the authenticity of their identity because it’s not as well-known.”

What Is the Difference Between Abrosexuality and Pansexuality?

While the two have some overlaps, the major difference is abrosexuals’ fluidity. Pansexuality refers to romantic or sexual attraction to people regardless of their gender and abrosexuals may also experience the same.

While pansexuals are consistent in their attraction to different people regardless of their gender, abrosexuals find their desire and attraction for diffrent genders shifts or fluctuates.

Susan notes, “An abrosexual individual may experience periods where they identify as pansexual, but the characteristic fluctuation in their attractions sets abrosexuality apart.”

Abrosexual people are known for their sexual fluidity
Abrosexual people are known for their sexual fluidity

How Being Abrosexual Affects Relationships

Navigating relationships is hard even under the best of circumstances therefore navigating relationships when your sexual orientation is changing adds additional complications this however doesn’t mean an abrosexual can’t enjoy a healthy dating life. One has to be willing to be honest about your preferences even as they shift.

You May Find Yourself Explaining Your Fluidity to Others

“Unique challenges can arise, such as explaining the concept of fluid sexuality to a partner or managing shifts in attraction within an ongoing relationship,” Sultán says.

“However, it’s important to note that successful relationships are based on understanding, communication, and mutual respect, all of which can help navigate the complexities of a fluid sexual orientation.”

Sometimes seeking out counselling as a couple is the best option. If you or your partner are unsure about your sexual orientation especially when it shifts, this can be one of the best options.

What Challenges Come With Identifying As Abrosexual?

It’s important to understand that those who are abrosexual aren’t questioning heir orientation. Here are some of the challenges that such people may face.

People May Question Your Sexual Identity

Despite being a legitimate sexual orientation, people may question abrosexuals. Individuals may claim the abrosexual person hasn’t settled on a real sexual identity or is greedy with their fluctuations in interest.

Sultan notes, “Abrosexual individuals can face challenges similar to those encountered by others with less understood or acknowledged sexual orientation.These can include misunderstanding, disbelief, or difficulty in explaining their orientation to others.”

You May Struggle With Internal Challenges

Sultan explains, “abrosexuals may encounter internal challenges as they navigate changing attractions. If they feel like their changing attractions are problematic they may try to suppress them. Discovering abrosexuality and talking to someone who understands abrosexuality can help immensely.

Other Sexual Minorities May Stigmatize Your Identity

Other sexual minorities may stigmatize their sexual orientation, Baldowski, “With abrosexuality, finding a network of people, especially in person, these days can be very difficult.”

How Do I Know If I’m Abrosexual ?

Recognizing that you’re abrosexual is not easy. Your Sexuality Seems to Shift Often.Introspection is a vital tool in understanding if you are really abrosexual.

You Feel Like You’re Coming Out

It might feel like you are always coming out all the time because your sexuality is always shifting. You may be forced to explain to your close ones every time you step into a new kind of relationship since the relationship turns out to be different from the one you were in before. Therefore you may end up feeling like you’re consistently coming out to loved ones.

You Find That Your Sexuality Seems to Shift Often

Introspection can help you understand if you are abrosexual. According to Baldowski, there are some questions you can ask yourself:

Questions to Ask Yourself

How do I approach dating, sex, and intimacy?

Have I ever had sexual or romantic feelings that fluctuated to different sexualities?

Have I ever dated or been sexually attracted to someone, then experienced the romantic or sexual attraction shift to a different gender?

Does my approach to dating feel confusing, like it doesn’t fit into existing models?

Do I feel a firm or more fluid connection to any sexual orientation?

Am I interested in sex in some periods of my life and not in other periods?

Difference Between Abrosexuality and Asexuality

Abrosexuality is taken as a part of the asexual spectrum. However they aren’t the same thing. Asexuality is when one experiences little to no sexual attraction.
One who is abrosexual discovers that their attraction changes over time. They may experience little to no sexual attraction from time to time.
Such people fluctuate between identifying with the term asexual to the term allosexual. They may also identify with terms such as graysexual or demisexual.
Some asexual people may fund their attraction changing with time. It’s also possible for someone to be both asexual and abrosexual at the same time.

Here’s How Abrosexuality Look Like

You may feel attracted to men one day then to women and only women the following day .You may feel attracted to people of different or all genders then after some weeks you feel attracted to people of a particular gender.
You may find yourself experiencing little or no sexual attraction then months later you notice that you’re starting to feel sexually attracted to people of all gender identities. You could be a heterosexual man but years down the line you realize that you are sexually attracted to men.

How Can You Support The Abrosexual People In Your Life?

If you have a close person who is sexually fluid or abrosexual you can support them in such ways:
Avoid vocalizing their state of “confusion” or the fact that they are going through a phase in life. Limit the invasive questions concerning their sexual experiences unless they are interested in talking about it.
Give them the liberty to express themselves concerning their relationships, crushes and sexual relations instead of asking them about their sexuality.
Don’t tell people about their sexual life. In other words don’t tell people they are abrosexual without seeking permission from them. It’s also advisable to ask them how you could support them or be of help to them.

When Your Partner Shares That They Are Abrosexual

You can support someone who is abrosexual by having an open mind. Sultan shares, “Recognize that their experiences and feelings are valid, even if they diverge from conventional understandings of sexual orientation.Being willing to listen and learn can be very supportive, as well as affirming their feelings and experiences.”

If your partner identifies as abrosexual, the first thing you ought to do is learn about the phrase if it’s not familiar with you. Thereafter you should consider asking them what their sexual identity means to them. Ask them what made them know about their orientation, their patterns and also how they would like you to check in with them concerning their fluctuating desires. Baldowski notes,  “Don’t expect [the abrosexual individual] to educate you on their identity.They can inform you about what they’re comfortable with.”
Doing so will help you understand and support your romantic partner. It will also help you to express your own needs and the relationship boundaries. You can therefore support each other and put in the work it takes to be in the relationship.
Being in the moment is also a great way to approaching things, says  Sexologist Carol Queen, Ph.D.,says, “Build as healthy a relationship with the person as possible so that you can be in the moment with them, not constantly looking ahead for signs of fluctuation in their feelings for you. Fluctuations might happen, for many reasons, in any relationship, and being too on the alert for them can be counterproductive.”

The Bottom Line.

In conclusion if you are sexually fluid or you go through periods of being attracted to different genders or feel non attractive at all you could be abrosexual.
Queen shares, “Sexually fluid or multi-sexual people now have more language to specify how their attractions and orientation show up in their lives, and abrosexuality is a way to distinguish attractions that change and shift versus ones that are stable but still multiple, like a pansexual person might experience them .The language is there to help you feel more connected to yourself and community—not as a rule you have to follow.”
Understanding Abrosexuality- How to Tell If You Are Sexually Fluid 2 534

Leave a Reply

Pin It on Pinterest

fr_FRFR
fr_FRFR