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The land of Kunyaza

Kunyaza  is a traditional Rwandan sexual practice where women’s sexual pleasure comes first and men are trained on the art of making a woman cum and squirt like a sprinkler. 

The ability to make a woman ejaculate is a central feature of Rwandan masculinity and during sex, Rwandan women lie back to enjoy an experience which prioritizes their pleasure. 

“Sex is for the woman. This is because the man has to please her and put her body in a certain state.” says Felix. 

So important is a woman’s sexual pleasure that if a man cannot satisfy his wife to the point of squirting the whole marriage is annulled.

‘If a man couldn’t do it, the families would get together and discuss the matter. They would take back the girl and give you back the cow you bought as a dowry, because you are a weak man.” Felix, a 68-year-old man residing in Nyanza, a town in Rwanda’s Southern Province, told New International. 

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The origin of Kunyaza

Although different theories circulate on the origin of this ancient practice that has refused to die, credible facts from historians claim  Kunyaza comes from Nyanza. Nyanza was once the capital of the pre-colonial Kingdom of Rwanda; home to the Royal Palace of the monarchy, which is now a museum.

The practice has since been adopted by some countries in Great Lakes Region bordering Rwanda.  In Uganda for instance the practice is known as Kachabali.

According to a myth passed down from generation to generation, during the third dynasty of the Rwandan monarchy the queen’s husband went away to war. 

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Left unsatisfied and sexually frustrated by his absence, she instructed one of her royal guards to have sex with her. Come the D day the guard came to execute the queen’s order but he was very nervous so when he started the sexual act his body trembled against the queen’s – his penis shook against her clitoris and labia, rather than penetrating. 

This act made the queen ejaculate for the first time and Kunyaza – crudely known in the West as squirting – was born.

Upon his return, the queen asked her husband to perform this act on her and the practice has been treasured since. When they come of age young men and women are taught how to play Kunyaza.

Meet Mukagatare – The despised women who can’t squirt

Today in Rwanda it is fairly rare to find women who cannot achieve kunyaza. Women who can’t squirt are shunned and even mocked – they are called mukagatare, a derogatory name in Kinyarwanda meaning ‘rock-woman’.

In Sacred Water (2016), a documentary about the practice, sexologist Vestine Dusabe estimates 80 or 90 percent of Rwandan women ‘have water’. 

What a beautiful and interesting country to be a woman.

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