My heart goes out to you, delusional woman sitting on the sidelines, whose mind travels to lands unknown filled with hope and fascination. A place where you and your favorite “sugar candy” exist.
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Why Would You Choose to Be the Other Woman?
Maybe you want to have fun with an attractive guy. Perhaps you’re not ready for a committed relationship and prefer a man who already has one—someone who won’t nag you but can give you what you want occasionally.
Or maybe you had a one-night stand, and it was too good to let go. Whatever your reason for being the other woman, there are rules you should follow. There are some housekeeping rules to help you thrive in your secret relationship. Here are things you should ponder before and during your secret relationship:
You Remain the Second Option
This should probably be the first, foremost, and most important housekeeping rule. You are labeled the other woman for a reason. You don’t reign supreme in his heart or life, so don’t sulk when he doesn’t prioritize you. Don’t go crazy when he can’t meet you for dinner because his wife wants him home before dusk.
Your entire life should not revolve around your secret lover. He has a full life and may only make time for you when it’s convenient for him. Therefore, if you want to earn an extra degree or start a business, go for it.
Triangulation is a Game He’s Likely to Play Quite Often
You and your triangulated counterpart have limited or no communication at all apart from through your manipulator. Having a private conversation with your romantic partner is not enough for them to stop trying to drag you into a relationship triangle. Desist from engaging if you seek to reinforce that you don’t want to play into triangulation.
Consider your partner to be your equal rather than your inferior or superior. Also communicate to your partner directly and in a healthy way. Incase of a relationship conflict, resist the urge to seek advise from a third party rather speak directly to your partner or go to relationship experts or therapists.
Yes, Date Multiple Men
Being the other woman means that the man you are seeing has not made your relationship exclusive. There’s no reason you should be exclusive with him, even if he asks you to. Go out for those lunch and coffee dates, and meet new people. Who knows, his main woman might get wind of your relationship with him and force him to end things with you.
Stick to Your Lane
As the other woman, you must understand that your man sets boundaries that you should not cross. If he says calling him past certain hours is not allowed, respect that. If he asks you not to call or visit his house, stick to your lane.
Confronting the Other Woman
Met his wife at the store? Stay silent. Saw her at the salon? Keep quiet. Tempted to engage in small talk with her? Resist the urge. It’s not wise to involve his main woman in your drama unless you’re planning something unconventional like a threesome.
Keep Him From the Public
You are in a private relationship, so everything you do should be kept private. Avoid sharing details about your relationship with the public. Don’t post photos on social media or go to public places with your secret lover. If you happen to be in public together, avoid holding hands or making it obvious that you’re together. Enjoy your relationship in private, away from public scrutiny.
Don’t Fall for His Lies
When he says he’ll marry you or take you to exotic destinations, take it with a pinch of salt. Men don’t always mean what they say or say what they mean. Maybe he tells you he’s only with you because his wife denies him sex, yet she gets pregnant year after year. If he claims he’s processing a divorce but you haven’t seen any paperwork, he’s probably just fooling around with you
What If He Finds Another Woman?
They say the beautiful ones are yet to be born. As long as he’s alive and breathing, he’ll encounter other attractive women he desires. Remember, if he’s cheating on his main woman with you, he can just as easily cheat on you with another woman. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you’re not special compared to the other women he’s seeing.
Stringing You Along
Sometimes, a man’s initial intention is just to have sex with you. If he finds you more appealing than expected, he might stick around longer to see how far he can go without committing. If you tell him you want a serious relationship, he might string you along for years to keep benefiting from the relationship without actually committing. While at it, he’ll want to know how far he can get away with smashing your coochie without necessarily committing to you.
they say that the beautiful ones are yet to be born
Do you just want a casual or a committed relationship, he’ll want to know. I’d advise you to tell him the exact opposite of what you expect out of the relationship, failure to which he’ll mirror your behaviours. Should you tell him you want marriage out of your union, he’ll engage you for a decade or so to keep you around so that he may reap as many benefits as he can from the relationship without actually committing to you. Until a man signs legal papers, take everything he tells you with a pinch of salt.
Don’t Act An Unpaid Therapist
Your man probably comes to you because he’s having relationship or problem issues. More often than often he’ll mention to you how his wife served him cold food or denied him her coochie for three weeks. Will you hold him to your chest or kiss him giving him reassurance that things will work out? Desist from being his unpaid therapist or his “peace”. Avoid discussing his marital issues with him but focus on the relationship you have with him instead. Remember to make it all about you.
What If You Snatch Him From The Other Woman?
Your goal should be to enjoy what the relationship has to offer, not to fix the man in your future. Avoid breaking your back for him. Just stay in the moment and enjoy whatever the situation brings. Whether it’s good times, tears, or heartbreaks, embrace them all, laugh at the madness, and enjoy it while it lasts.
If you are pursuing an affair with the goal of stealing the man from his main woman, then you should think again. According to US research, “mate poaching” a practice whereby single women prey on other people’s romantic partners , is common, with most women showing more interest in attached and committed men as opposed to their single counterparts.
Snatching a man from his partner also known as mate poaching may make you feel triumphant for a while. You might invest your all to make the relationship stable and fulfilling. However you need to understand that your poached mate is unlikely to remain loyal to you. Would you trust a man whom you stole from another woman?
Do you expect such a man to be loyal to you. A poached man cannot commit to a relationship, it’s just a matter of time before another gorgeous woman snatches him from you. Poaching him is also risky as his spouse may cause violence and fight you off. Society may also deem you as a social misfit and may see you to be evil. Before you think of poaching him, evaluate the risks that come with snatching someone’s mate.
When to Call it Quits
No time no money spent on you. If you feel like you are in his life just for convenience, then you actually are. Word is that men will waste a woman’s time and money without feeling any remorse. Does he just makes plan to see you because his wife is out of town and he’s simply looking for someone to pass time with ?
Does he make plans to take you out on dates and actually follows through those plans? Or does he cancel plans last minute and bail out on you in the name of wanting to spend extra time with the main woman in his life. Beware of men who expect you to deal with their financial problems or foot their women’s bills.
Dear woman, I hope you have read my not so long a letter and have had a glimpse of some of the rules you should heed to if you have taken the path of eating the forbidden fruit. If you have proudly crowned yourself the other woman, enjoy while it lasts.
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