What Are Lavender Marriages and Why Do People Settle For Them?

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What is a Lavender Marriage?

The term ‘lavender’ refers to a mix of traditionally gender-associated colours, reflecting the blend of appearances in these arrangements. A lavender marriage is a union between a man and woman where either of the partners is bisexual or homosexual, but the marriage exists for reasons other than romantic love. Lavender marriages were arranged to conceal the sexual orientations of those who are involved due to a lack of acceptance or societal pressures.

While lavender marriages were a common thing in the past decades when LGBTQ visibility was lower, they continue to persist for a variety of societal and personal reasons reflecting the interplay between public perception and personal identity.

Why Do Individuals Settle For Lavender Marriages:

Mutual Understanding

Such marriages begin with clear communication between the parties that are involved. Both parties agree to the marriage with a clear understanding of one another’s sexual orientation and personal reasons for their union.

Mutual understanding between both parties sets a foundation or a bedrock for partners to navigate their union while reflecting a united front to the outside world. It also ensures that both parties have respect and expectations for each other.

Easing Family Pressures

Many people face immense pressure from their relatives to lead a traditional life which involves getting married to a person of the opposite sex and raising children together.

A lavender marriage appeases family expectations, reducing stress and conflict within familial relations as they can fulfil familial duties and maintain harmony without exposing their sexual orientation thus navigating family dynamics smoothly.

Facilitating Career Advancement

In some professions, marriage is a stability and maturity marker. By aligning with such traditional markers of success, such relationships facilitate career advancement.

This can be essentially relevant in high-profile careers where the public image plays a vital role. Marriage serves as a stepping stone and enables individuals to focus on career growth without their personal life detracting from their professional achievements.

Providing Social Cover

In places where being a member of the LGBTQ community may lead to discrimination, lavender marriages are a protective shield and make individuals conform to societal expectations without attracting attention.

The social cover can be beneficial in social circles, professional environments or any other environments where there’s stigma attached to being non-heterosexual. It enables people to maintain their public image and privacy while safeguarding their emotional and mental well-being.

Building Companionship

Despite the absence of romantic love people in lavender marriages share a bond of friendship and mutual respect which can be a significant source of stability and comfort and provide couples with a trusted partner in navigating life’s challenges. The relationship can also offer intellectual stimulation and emotional support contributing to a supportive domestic life.

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