5 red flags you are in a violent relationship

5 red flags you are in a violent relationship

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Women and violence

Globally, as many as 38% of murders of women are committed by an intimate partner according to United Nations Women.

Gender-based violence takes many forms but domestic violence remains prevalent. Global estimates published by WHO indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.

Also Read: 9 African countries where it is a pain to be a woman

Sometimes not all relationships are physically violent but emotionally abusive but both have deadly end results if left to fester. 

So how do you know you are in a violent relationship? Here are some of the red flag to check out.


Yes love is selfish but when it gets toxic when it becomes possessive. If your better half can’t let you out of their sight, monitor your every move and literally restrict your behavior then run for the hills.

Love is about trust and if your partner can’t sit still long enough to let you work without constantly calling or texting when you are not around then it means they are operating from fear and fear make people do stupid things when they sense they are losing you.

Cases of loved ones locking up their better halves in the basement because they fear losing them is not the stuff of movies alone, most are actually based on true stories

Constant Put-downs

If your lover can’t miss an opportunity to put you down then that’s a big red flag you need to open your eyes and see it darling for what it really is – Toxic.

All day long they will never cease to mention how great their mother was to how their ex-boyfriend fucked better in bed you are left wondering why then can’t they go live with them.

There is nothing pretty about your lover attacking your intelligence, looks, mental health or capabilities and at the end of the day you feel so worthless instead of feeling loved.

Whether they do it publicly or privately it’s the same and you need to wake up, smell the coffee and walk away.


After crying a river for you to forgive them for the umpteenth time you have found them cheating. Toxic lovers also resort to threats whenever they want to manipulate you into staying in an abusive relationship. 

Threats of killing themselves if you leave them or threatening to kill you if you leave them are some of the most common threats of abusive boyfriends/girlfriends which you should never take lightly. If your lover issues threats to you, report them to the police and immediately move out and change your contacts and addresses.


Common sense dictates that when two grown ups disagree they will sit down and solve it together well not an abusive boyfriend/girlfriend especially a manipulative one.

They will never take responsibility for anything and whenever they wrong you they will never say sorry. Instead they will try to guilt trip you, ignore you for days on end and if that doesn’t work they will sulk for days on end until they have their way.

No boundaries

If you are in a relationship with a man/woman and it doesn’t matter how hard you tell them to respect your boundaries they just seem never to listen then there is a problem. It can be something as simple as giving you time to answer a call or simply use the washroom.

True love is about respecting each other’s views, preferences and boundaries. It means they see and value you as an equal. Toxic lovers  on the other hand all their views and preferences is what matters. They don’t see or value you and at the end of the day they hope to destroy your dignity and self worth.

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