How To Set Clear Boundaries With Your Ex-Partner

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Brené Brown says, When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. After a breakup, how we relate with our ex-partners shifts dramatically.

Romantic, sexual and daily partners morph hence making way for a new normal for partners. This may leave several people in an uneasy state of transition wondering if they can have their ex in their lives and how they can ensure that.

Transitioning from being lovers to colleagues, friends or just co-parents is very easy if there are good boundaries between romantic partners. Boundaries reflect how one wants to be treated and also whatever you are going to do if anyone violates your expectations. In this article we’ll delve into the most important things you can do to maintain boundaries in a relationship:

Describe Your Ideal Relationship:

Once you earnestly admit your motivation for keeping your ex-partner in your life it’s high time you figured out what a non-romantic partnership with your partner would feel like. Since you are no longer an item, how would you want it to be in your life? Ask yourself several questions like,

What does being friends with your ex mean? Are you still interested in your ex-partner? How often should you meet or talk to your ex-partner?

Are there any dealbreakers to being friends with your ex-partner? Are there things that you’d wish your ex-partner to halt doing like for instance calling late at night or stopping by your house? Get as clear as you can about what you would want and not want in your life moving forward.

Share Your New Perspective With Your Ex-Partner

After figuring out your motivation for just being friends and what you’d want your relationship to be like, share it with your ex-partner and get their feedback to see whether a friendship will work for them. For instance, you can ask them like

Evaluate Over Time

It is important to continually see how the situation makes you feel over time even as you establish what you need in your new relationship with your ex-partner. If your partner behaves inconsistently with the new friendship that you have outlined, it will be wise of you to respond.

Setting boundaries is important for healthy relationships since it establishes what type of relationship you are willing to remain in and how you respond to how someone treats you. Setting boundaries is important for you and your ex-partner since it will help you move on in a healthy manner.

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